I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
Randomize
