There is no way he is gay with that hair.
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
tequila makes me forget i have legs
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
Randomize
