do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
jump out the window naked night went bad
Randomize
