I feel great
I just peed on a car
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
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