I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
Randomize
