Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
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