You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
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