So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
Randomize
