i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
