i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
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