Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
Hey, so I'm not coming into work til Friday. Some guy I've known for about 8 hours just offered me a free vacation to Maui and bought my plane ticket. He's Aussie so I'm 75% sure he won't murder me
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
Randomize
