the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
