When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
Randomize
