did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
no more duck duck goose at the bar
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
Randomize
