I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
Shame - the story of my life.
Randomize
