It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
Randomize
