So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
Please don't give away my fajitas
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize