i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
