there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
this is a preemptive text before you call me freaking out: i have your keys and your car is parked safely a block down from your apartment.
you are a goddess
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize