she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
Randomize
