Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
Randomize