you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
Randomize
