i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
Whatcha textin bout Willis?
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
