I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
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