1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
Randomize
