Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize
