Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
he just fucked me for my cheese..
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