Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
