you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
the night ended with taco bell and tears
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
