Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
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