girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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