omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
Randomize
