she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
Randomize
