when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
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