ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
Randomize
