i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize