i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
Just pee around me
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
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