Where did you get a picture of my penis
i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
Randomize
