I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
How does one acquire holy water?
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
Randomize
