He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
Randomize
