I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
Considering that my ex-wife dumped me to become a lesbian, the Universe owes me a threesome.
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
Randomize
