why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
Randomize
