The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Randomize