you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
Randomize
