they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
Randomize
