Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
I think people are normalizing furries
Randomize
