How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
She announced her abortion via fbk
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
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