look no pants
he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Randomize
