haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
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