I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
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