just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
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