i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
Randomize
