i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
Randomize