Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
Randomize
