he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
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