What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
