it hurts more in the daytime
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
Randomize
