Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
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