I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
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