the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
Randomize
