Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
Randomize
