If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Randomize
