My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
Randomize
