just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
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