God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
Randomize
