you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Randomize
