Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
Randomize
