i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
Just got a call at work, I have to consent to a random drug and alcohol test by end of business day, if you arranged this it's the best/worst April fools prank ever.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
Randomize
