Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
Pooping to opera.
Randomize
